Daily Bliss Archives · Ashley Barnes

Daily Bliss – August 12

Daily Bliss

What is it about coming home

That ignites both excitement

And sadness,

Her dream of finding herself

Out in the world

Always leading her back

To the space inside,

Always present,

Always welcoming,

And yet she wanders still

©Ashley Castle Barnes

It feels like all the work I’ve done over the last decade is for the inevitable purpose of coming back home to myself, to the me that has been lost, hidden, masked.

But it’s more than that too. It’s the journey, the experience.

I keep setting out, looking for something unseen but felt inside, then circling back to a place that feels closer to home than before.

I always come back to the place inside where I’m home, I’m whole, I have the comfort of knowing I have the answers within.

And then I set out again.

A cycle of beginning and ending but there really is no end.

At least, I hope I never reach a place where the learning and growing ends.

I think that would be death, even if I were still alive.

I used to not love the wandering. It felt directionless and untethered.

Because it was. It still is.

And that’s okay. Learning to trust my inner compass has been my journey, and while it’s been rocky, it hasn’t led me astray.

It is the way.

What is your way, your journey of coming home?

Daily Bliss – August 10

Daily Bliss

Even when she feels

She’s running late,

Behind the gate that blocks her

From where she wants to be,

When she slows

She knows the key exists

Inside her longing heart

To her freedom, her resistance

Letting go

©Ashley Castle Barnes

I’ve circled around this feeling time and time again.

The feeling that something is stopping me, blocking me, holding me back.

So I do more, think more, try different things, until I’m worn out and discouraged.

And then usually, I remember that it isn’t the DOING more that moves me forward.

It’s the BEING more.

More still. More grounded. More present in my body. More connected to my feelings. More aware of my energy and impact.

It’s a truth that I have to come back to time and again.

I may teach it to others but I need the reminder too.

Perhaps you needed it today as well?

Daily Bliss – August 9

Daily Bliss

And what if she stood still

And took in all that lies

Around her

And through her,

And surveyed the terrain

Of her heart

For its enduring message,

A love song for her soul

©Ashley Castle Barnes

My mind is all over the place today and that’s probably why these are the words that came.

Stop and be still.

Bask in all the goodness that’s happening and around me.

I dreamed last night that I was pregnant and in labor.

I can’t shake it today. Pregnancy dreams mean I’m birthing something.

And it’s true, I am.

More than my book.

New energy. New focus.

So today I focus on being present and grateful.

And on creating the anchor for when the waters are tumultuous again.

How are you stopping to survey your own landscape and find stillness today?

Daily Bliss – August 5

Daily Bliss

Her own words

Shooting daggers of delight

Through her mind

And tears of joy

Through her heart,

Washing away the feelings

Of not enough

And too much,

Leaving only a resolute stillness

In her perfection, just as she is

©Ashley Castle Barnes

I’ve published 3 books now. The first one, The Angel Inside, was undoubtedly a testing of the waters.

Would the sky fall if I put this out? How will people react? Will I gain friends? Lose friends?

It was an exercise in self-trust and following my intuition.

Nothing dramatic happened of course. I published a book, people who loved me celebrated with me, and then life went back to normal.

So I published a second book, The Rising. And now I’m here with my third, Liminal.

What I’m finding with each turn is that not only do I get more comfortable putting my work – myself- out into the world, is that there is a quiet comfort in creating for the sake of creating, which is what I do.

I don’t write to publish books. I write to breathe.

To go back and read my own words with wonder and awe, not because they’re so great but because often they feel foreign and lovely, even to me.

I open a page to a poem and it speaks to exactly what I need to hear in that moment – which is also what I hope for anyone who buys a book.

I’ve had in the back of my mind for some time that I would eventually craft a poetry memoir. I’ve been collecting poems for that purpose for several years.

Yet, as I’ve tediously and methodically reviewed and revised Liminal, it’s become clear to me that I’m already creating that.

One poem at a time. One book at a time.

A collective shared wisdom that just happens to come through me.

And I feel honored to be the conduit.

Daily Bliss – August 4

Daily Bliss

Right in front of her

Lie the answers

They’ve been there all along

And yet sometimes the easiest things

Are also the hardest,

Bearing down,

Pressing on her heart

Like a heavy blanket of grief,

The knowing what to do

And the not wanting to do it

I’ve had a “liminal” situation for a couple of years now that has created an ebb and flow of feelings: grief, hope, anger, excitement, frustration, connection, inadequacy.

It’s not a life or death situation. Nevertheless, it’s taxed my energy, which has in turned taxed other areas of my life.

It’s been a constant thorn in my side.

All because I’ve allowed it to be.

To be fair to myself, there are some aspects that are definitely out of my control and that I’ve tried with little success to change.

I’ve talked to a lot of people to try to clear my head and the energy I carry around it. I get regular massage and energy work to move the stuckness.

And it’s not all bad; in fact, there are many positives about the situation.

Still, I persist in carrying it like a weight rather than an opportunity.

I work with people in similar situations and I know what I would tell them.

Actually, I wouldn’t tell them anything.

I would work with them to clear the energetic blocks and then I would share with them what their energy is telling them.

And I’d help them formulate simple actions that support the shift and that create an anchor while they’re in this liminal space of transition.

I don’t have a “me” in my life that I work with in that exact way, but I am immensely grateful for all the people who have listened to me, given advice, offered encouragement, held space, helped shift the energy.

Sometimes the answer is right there, we just need the energy to shift.

Who is helping you shift today?

Daily Bliss – August 3

Daily Bliss

The unraveling,

It never seems to end,

The pulling of one thread

And then another

Until she’s naked,

Flesh and bone no match

For the truth of her heart,

A gift unto herself

Famed author and researcher, Brené Brown once wrote: “Midlife is not a crisis. Midlife is an unraveling….Midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:

I’m not screwing around. All of this pretending and performing—these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt—has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.

This unraveling is not only part of midlife though.

For many of us, it’s a part of the experience of deciding to embark on a path of growth – which is decidedly not for the faint of heart.

And yet all the raw vulnerability, the feeling of nakedness as we slowly peel back the layers and uncover the gold underneath, is an amazing gift to ourselves.

We were never truly broken, no matter what the world told us.

Maybe a bit tarnished or cracked, and covered in protective layers.

But at our core, whole. Perfect. Just as we are.

Who else needed to be reminded of this today?