What if she follows her feelings
Down to their darkest-seeming directions,
To the center where she contains
And constrains,
And what if she dares to consider
That their darkness doesn’t dictate
Who she becomes
©Ashley Castle Barnes
Do a photo search for “feelings” and so many of the graphics you get are people in pain.
And the obligatory arms spread wide on a cliff or ocean shore.
Almost no in between, where we actually exist.
No wonder we see feelings are “good” or “bad” – that’s what is reflected to us.
No wonder we try to escape the “bad” feelings in search of the “good” – it’s what we’re expected to do.
This time of year is always nostalgic and sad for me. Feelings I’ve historically categorized as “bad”.
If I’m being honest, I still do. Because they feel bad.
And they feel bad because they poke at unhealed places, raw places, ignored places, stuck places.
They shine a light into what feels like darkness, so I know where to offer grace.
I’m dancing with this darkness today, allowing it to remind me that while it dances with me, it isn’t me.
Not who I’ve been, or who I will become.
How are you dancing with darkness and feelings today?