What if it’s not
All or nothing?
What if she softens
Into the gray dawn
Knowing all things can be
In the in-between
And she can be too
©Ashley Castle Barnes
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been all or nothing.
It literally pains me to do something part-ways. If I can’t finish it, I don’t want to start it.
You can see how that would be challenging, even debilitating.
I’d love to say it’s some kind of trauma response that could be processed enough to get past it. Maybe it is, but so far that hasn’t changed it.
In reality, I think it’s just how I’m wired. If I start something and don’t have time to finish it, I lose focus when I try to come back it. Whatever inspiration I had is often lost, and is rarely recovered.
But accepting this opens new doors for moving forward.
There’s nothing wrong, I just have to find creative ways to work with this natural inclination, the most important being to not fight it.
To let it be.
To let me be.
And trust that magic can and does happen in the foggy, gray in-between where nothing is certain, and sometimes, nothing is finished.
How are you leaning into this space today?