Lost in thought, her mind
wanders to a younger day, when she
expertly walked the tightrope over joy and
pain, a misstep here and there, but
never completely losing herself in that
cauldron of self-awareness bubbling
Pain – it was not feared then, but
admired, on the weathered faces of
the elders, noting their wisdom and
grace, the simple way they brushed
her hair from her face, and kissed
her forehead, assuring her with their own
worry that there was none for her
But now she wonders where that
elder-wisdom has gone, and will it ever
find her, or if it’s even hers to long for,
the kiss of peace long ago washed from
her furrowed brow.
When did she stop trusting herself?
Was it the first time she rolled over in her
lover’s bed only to find he wasn’t there?
When she felt the sharp sensation of betrayal
from one she considered a friend?
When the sting of loss pierced her heart so
deeply she thought she would drown in the tears
she never cried?
In the stillness that is left she listens,
listens for anything that will convince her
she’s alive, and in that empty place, darkness
reverberates like a thousand universes swirling
around their suns, like the hum of angel wings,
like the breath of creation in her ears
Like all those who came before her
Like all who will ever come
The sound of no sound
bringing life, bringing light
resting in the goodness that rests
inside the stillness of her mind,
where she is whole
She is whole
But..is she complete
I believe at the soul level we’re all whole. But at the physical level, we’ll never be complete. There’s just too much loss. However, I don’t believe it’s our purpose as humans to find wholeness, because we already are. Our purpose is to learn to thrive on incompleteness.
Wholeness is similar to Nirvana.
We need to experience the loss to complete the journey.
Every soul is perfect and complete yet at the physical level, it is our imperfections, our flaws, our wounds and our suffering which propel us forward.