Another reflection from my Woman Within weekend:
I had just gone outside to ground myself after the morning meditation when I found a nut, cracked open with the smaller seed inside. I reflected on that nut, how I was the seed inside, small and vulnerable, breaking out of that old protective shell. I know to become the fruit-bearing tree that I need to be, to nourish others with my bounty, I have to allow myself to fully break free, to leave that hard outer shell behind. But like the seed I found, it’s still clinging. The seed is exposed, but becoming vulnerable to the world is still scary. Intellectually, I know the world needs me, my gifts. Letting go of the outer shell means I let go of the past that binds me, the pain, the loss. While I want to be free, why is it so scary to release that? It was painful–why do I hang on?
Because it made me. Letting it go is like releasing a part of me. What if there is nothing else to fill the empty space? And as I write that, I know that I have so much in my life to fill that, so much love from so many people. And letting go leaves me space to give love as well, rather than putting so much energy into hanging onto the past.